Ella...and the future

As I start to wrap up this time of Ella's last 3 years, including the rough beginning of her life, I'm reminded about how blessed I am to be Ella's mother. She's mine. She looks like me. She laughs at my jokes. She loves me...and I don't need her to speak the words for me to know it.

(Thank you Katherine Kramer for this picture)

This past weekend we had some great friends in town (more on this later) but they have two daughters (and one on the way). Kaylee will be 7 in July and Reese will be 3 in August (3 months younger than Ella). In some ways it was so difficult to see two healthy and active girls running circles around E, but they were SO sweet to her. Most kids just ignore Ella. She doesn't play with them or do any of the things that they do. I was explaining Ella's gait trainer to Kaylee and how we are teaching her to walk...she asked "Can I take her on a walk tomorrow?" as if it was so easy for her to just walk with Ella around the block, and it made my heart smile. She knew Ella was different and couldn't do the same things, but she didn't put any limitations on her either, I so tend to do that. Reese would hold Ella's hand and play with her, and Ella never protested, I think Reese liked someone who would just LET her play with her, no complaints! Kaylee asked "Why doesn't she play with her Barbie doll?" (Ella has a lot of dolls and toys still in their boxes in her room). I tried to explain to her that Ella doesn't have the same imagination that she does, and when she asked "why?", because all kids do, I tried to explain that when she was born her brain got hurt. She promptly told Ella "I'm sorry your brain hurts". They never left her out. They would always make sure that she was right there. My heart was healed a little this weekend by two little girls. (Picture is of Reese and Ella talking and holding hands after swimming this weekend)

Big News......

I've got some big news... big news for me anyways. After many long drawn out conversations with me and God (and my sweet husband too!), I have decided to resign my job. Actually, I already resigned earlier this morning. It was by far the hardest decision I have made in a long time. When I was younger I never saw myself as a stay at home mom. I worked hard through college and worked even harder at my jobs and I was fortunate to find a career I truly loved (Human Resources) and was good at - my yearly evaluations say so. My life changed in so many ways when Audrey was born. I wrestled with whether or not I should return to work after my maternity leave was over. Returning to work after Audrey was the last hardest decision I have ever made. I did and was always at an unrest. I knew Audrey was safe. I never questioned her safety, but after she turned 6 months I realized I was missing some milestones for her. She would come home and have learned something new. This made me sad. I didn't teach her that. Of course the next morning she would throw a huge fit and I was grateful she was going to daycare! I have always wondered in the back of my head if I made the right decision to return to work. There is only one way to find out.....resign. Which I already did - can you tell a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders?
There are also other factors at play. I have reached the ceiling at my job and there is no growth opportunity for me until my boss resigns (in 10-15 years - sorry, not sticking around that long) and since my new boss came ( about 1 1/2 years ago) I have reverted back to what I was doing when I started in 2004. There is also the distance from the house to work and back again. 33 miles one way in heavy traffic. I just don't have enough time with Audrey. Alot of people have asked me why I don't find a job closer to home. After carefully considering this, I decided that I would still always wrestle if I should stay home or not. This way, I can give my job a good notice (5 weeks), go on vacation, plan Audrey's 1st b-day and then take 2-3 months and give staying home a TRUE shot. If I don't like it...... off to work I go. No harm, no foul!
So that is my big news. Thanks for all the prayers friends!
Oh and to my other SAHM's - we have a pool and I am going to need adult conversation - so come on over!

10 Months... (just a little late!)

Oh My! 10 months! I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. I'll be honest....... I thought some days would never end, but for the majority of the time, they have flown by. I love this stage though. I see so much of her personality coming out. She is still overall a great, fun-loving, good-humored baby who takes most everything in stride. She has her moments though and let's everyone know it! I love being with her, even in her crabby moods - which are few and far between. She is a very social baby (wonder who she gets that from !). B and I praise God every night for blessing our lives with her presence. I wish I had 10 things to say about her..... I do, I am just running out of time and I am tired! Enjoy the pictures!

Hi! My name is Audrey... and you are?

I love to read (eat) books!

That poor puppet... it has been through the ringer with her.

One of the few and far between moments!

Silence

I'm still here! I am just incredibly swamped right now and haven't had any time to blog on Audrey. I'll catch everyone up soon!

Cloudcroft...going home

The ride home was long, but not too bad. We stopped at Hardin Simmons on the way home, where Joe went to college. We even ate at Subway there in Abilene, where Joe worked while he was there. By the time we made it home we were all exhausted...and Joe was sick. We are all much better today after a good nights sleep in our own beds.

Cloudcroft...Sunday

Day 4: We all woke up and went to White Sands National Monument. It was WONDERFUL. So much fun and so much sun. We were chilly all weekend in Cloudcroft, so the change to Alamogordo was nice. The sand was amazing and all of the kids (big and little) loved sledding!

On the way back to Cloudcroft we (just the 4 of us) decided to stop by a local burger place. These are some pictures of that drive. However, when we got to Blake's Lotaburger we quickly had a disaster. Will had a BLOW OUT diaper in the high chair. It was the worst place to have one and the grey onesis in this picture is now in a trash can somewhere in the desert of New Mexico...ah, fun...traveling with kids.

Later on Sunday evening the Mitchell's decided to take a scenic tour of the Lincoln National Forest...where we were the whole weekend.

Cloudcroft...Saturday

Day 3: Morning at the house was always a little crazy. This morning, Drew Farell found some racoon tracks...so fun to watch the kids figure this stuff out.

Then a few of the families...Misemers, Kramers and us...went to Karr Canyon for a few hours.

That afternoon we blew bubbles (Will's favorite word) and then there were a LOT of sleepy childrend. Note: Avery tucked inside Collin's jacket...she asked him to zip her in. The Allsup's water bottle will always make me laugh...he LOVES their burritos. And then notice Judah playing with Glen's guitar...we ended up having a praise and worship time as adults after the kids went to bed.