It’s taken me months to write this blog post. I think about stuff all the time to write and I never sit down and feel like I can write it out well on “paper”. I think I’ll write it as topics…so it doesn’t seem to wander as much as it does in my head.
Myself. I have been struggling with being happy with who I am. I have always felt a little awkward in my own skin, but lately it’s been worse. Growing up I was always trying to fit in or at least not be noticed…for some reason I’m feeling that way again. I am not happy with my body at all and I really struggle with being exactly who God created. I know that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”, but I don’t feel it most of the time. I always want to be someone else or have something that someone else has, and yet my life is really wonderful when I step back and look at everything. I was talking to a girlfriend recently who told me that she had lost a lot of weight and when I told her that I envied that fact she reminded me that a lot of the reason she was losing weight was because she was miserable and depressed all of the time…yeah, I’m pretty sure I’d rather be loving my life and little on the chunky side. I have been looking through old photographs on either Facebook or just at home and wish so often that I looked like the old me from 1o years ago, but I’m glad I’m not that person anymore. Maybe with happiness and contentment with my life come a little extra weight and a few more bags and dark circles under the eyes. My husband says that stretch marks are badges of honor. I have carried two beautiful blessings that have caused my heart and spirit to grow more than anything could have in my life 5 or 10 years ago…so I guess anything from them is an honor. There was a reunion of my church youth group this weekend and I felt paralyzed by the fact that I might end up having to go by myself. I was never comfortable or felt really accepted as a teenager…oddly I found that I still feel that way so much even in my 30’s. I felt like I had reverted back to being 15 again. If you knew me when I was a pre-teen/teenager then you know what I’m talking about...it was a rough time for me. I will tell you that meeting and falling in love with Joe changed my life. I found a person that God created just for me. He really loves me even with my faults and quirks…and I’m safe and secure with our family of four. I just have to be reminded who I am in Christ.
Joe and Andrea. We are working on scripture. Our amazing Sunday School class is working towards earning an amazing trip (a cruise) next December by learning scripture. It is a lot of work and Joe and I try to work on it daily together. It’s had a huge impact on our marriage. God has continued to bless us because we have submitted our lives, our marriage and our children to Him. It’s not always easy, but it’s been very comforting.
Ella. Isn’t she adorable? We are so proud of her. The biggest change in Ella’s life (in all of our lives) has been Kristie. I guess I’ll write about her here. Kristie was the assistant to the Women’s Minister at our church. When she decided to leave the job I snagged her for a few days…a few days have turned into a permanent job. Through a program called MDCP (Medically Dependant Children’s Program) we are approved for Medicaid. Because of this approval we are given respite hours. Kristie has become Ella’s full-time attendant. She is a blessing beyond any prayers I even knew to pray. Kristie takes Ella to therapy, works with her during the day and gives me a chance to get things done around the house and get to spend some time with Will. Kristie is like a part of our family and again has been a great addition more than I can say. On another note. Ella is progressing every day. We have stopped the pool therapy and now she is on land with all of her therapies. She works really hard and is all over the place. She gets in funny situations and positions at home…we laugh and with her a lot. She loves to crawl under things so we find her under tables, in boxes and behind the television…silly girl. She laughs a lot and makes us laugh all the time. She is trying really hard to stand more and to start using her gate trainer. I hope she’s walking with support by her 3rd birthday!
Will. Oh, Will/Billy/William/Bubba/Billy Boy…the poor child has no idea what his name is, he is probably very confused. He is walking. He started walking pretty well when we were in Hawaii over Christmas while he was trying to keep up with his cousin Abe…and hasn’t stopped moving. He walks everywhere all day long and gets into everything. Who knew a child even wanted to get into so much stuff. How can empty drawers be SO entertaining?!?! We find his toys in the strangest places and juts have to laugh. We decided to go ahead and get him a forward-facing car seat and he has so much fun. He turns 1 in a week so I don’t feel like we did it too soon. He feeds himself all of his meals and loves to try the fork or spoon…a little messy. He is only a pound lighter than Ella and everyone tells us that he’s huge and has massive hands and feet…he’s the only boy I’ve ever had so I just think he’s normal. We are having a party for him, but are only inviting friends his age, so don’t get your feelings hurt if you didn’t get an invite. We couldn’t do something as big as Ella’s…I was told to keep it small (BOORRRINNNGG).
Recently. Ella went to the ER on Saturday night. She falls a LOT. By a lot I mean every day. She has poor protective reflexes when she’s sitting up and sometimes she just goes down hard. On Saturday she got a really big knot on her head so I got worried. Since she has a history of brain damage they wanted to check her out. They compared her old CT to the new one and said everything was the same. Ha, notice they didn’t say it was normal. Normal must be boring, I’ll never know. We were in-and-out in 2 hours. For an ER that is really quick. I suggest Medical City Children’s Hospital…mostly because we are there ALL the time and love it.
I think that's it for now. We love comments and questions so feel free to write back...I look forward to them!